Between 2007 and 2010, The Auditor and I became parents to three beautiful souls, all of whom were called home to the Lord before their due dates. We acknowledge and remember our lost children– Elijah Daniel, Sarah Faith and Noah John– whom we hope to meet someday in the kingdom of heaven!
Much of my blogging deals with the ongoing struggle with maintaining a sense of Catholic identity as a now infertile couple, recognizing and validating my lost children’s lives in a world too eager to forget them, and trying to heal from the experience of losing them in the first place. Occasionally, these posts are raw and cause discomfort for the reader, for which I apologize in advance. It’s part of the process, and more importantly, it’s the truth that so many families live every single day. Remembering our lost children brings healing and peace in a way that moving on and forgetting will never do.
Mother Angelica’s Prayer for Lost Children
My Lord, the baby is dead!
Why, my Lord—dare I ask why? It will not hear the whisper of the wind or see the beauty of its parents’ face—it will not see the beauty of Your creation or the flame of a sunrise. Why, my Lord?
“Why, My child—do you ask ‘why’? Well, I will tell you why.
You see, the child lives. Instead of the wind he hears the sound of angels singing before My throne. Instead of the beauty that passes he sees everlasting Beauty—he sees My face. He was created and lived a short time so the image of his parents imprinted on his face may stand before Me as their personal intercessor. He knows secrets of heaven unknown to men on earth. He laughs with a special joy that only the innocent possess. My ways are not the ways of man. I create for My Kingdom and each creature fills a place in that Kingdom that could not be filled by another. He was created for My joy and his parents’ merits. He has never seen pain or sin. He has never felt hunger or pain. I breathed a soul into a seed, made it grow and called it forth.”
I am humbled before you, my Lord, for questioning Your wisdom, goodness, and love. I speak as a fool—forgive me. I acknowledge Your sovereign rights over life and death. I thank You for the life that began for so short a time to enjoy so long an Eternity. — Mother M. Angelica