Catholic Charities just called. They are discontinuing their full service adoption program in our area, because they are losing a lot of money on it. Apparently most people in this area who are exploring placing their children for adoption aren’t going to adoption agencies/family service providers. They are googling it on the internet and matching up with adoptive families that way.
So first we have no idea how to finance it. Then we finally find someone in NY who will do an independent homestudy for us. Then we move to Maryland and have to throw away the money we spent in NY on our homestudy. Then we have to wait six months to have “residency” in the new state. Then we start another homestudy. Then we dont know how to pay the huge placement fee. Then we figure out how to pay for that and five seconds later the agency calls and says they arent going to offer full services any more.
All the while we’ve had all these issues come up with Little Scribbler and I’ve been thinking to myself, “This must be why God is delaying our adopting– so that we have time to focus on Little Scribbler and get her on the right track before NewBaby comes home.” Now I have to wonder if NewBaby is EVER coming home, or if Little Scribbler is going to be an only child. Maybe she is– maybe that’s what God wants for us. To be honest with you (and with myself) I wouldn’t really know because I haven’t bothered to ask Him.
Catholic Charities will still do our homestudy. Once the homestudy is done, we can send it to other agencies (provided I can find any that are ethical, which is harder than you’d think it would be), and organizations trying to place children who are already waiting.
The Auditor is feeling slightly discouraged, and I’m trying to be positive, but there is a tiny little bit of defeatedness back there hiding in the dark, cobwebby corner of my mind. Little Scribbler’s friends are all becoming big brothers and sisters, and she is starting to really want to be one too!
I must keep reminding myself that God’s delays are not always God’s denials.