The Faithful Scribbler

A Catholic Mother In A Secular World

December thoughts

on December 13, 2010

Around this time of year, I always think about my babies. If I’d gone full term, Noah would have been born about a week ago. I should have a newborn, week old baby right now. If Elijah had made it full term, he would have just turned 3 years old in October. Sarah would be about 10 months old.

If my children had lived, I’d have four kids in diapers right now– four children under the age of 4 years old. I’d be potty training for 2. I’d be bottle feeding the 2 others. We’d be a big, happy, noisy, attention drawing family. It hurts to think about them sometimes.

Instead, we are a small, happy, noisy, not-so-attention-drawing family. A good family. A strong family. I love my husband and my daughter immesurably– they are the perfect, perfect family.

But all the same, I miss my babies. I wish they were here with me now, even though I know they are safe and well cared for with Jesus in heaven. There are three stockings hanging by my fireplace instead of six. I just wanted to tell someone that it’s December, and I’m thinking of my babies today.

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4 responses to “December thoughts

  1. I don’t know you, but I am thinking of them with you. I’m praying that you find comfort today.

  2. Patrick says:

    My dear, dear friend,

    I share your pain and admire greatly yuor courage and FAITH!

    God’s continued blessings,

    Pat

  3. Terri says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. Even though you have 3 saints in Heaven, I know it still hurts. I’m a mother of 2 children and never have lost a child but I can just imagine. You’re in my prayers.

  4. Kristy says:

    thanks everybody :) I’m feeling really especially thankful for my husband and daughter today. Everytime a duedate passes it gets a little easier. Noah would have been born by now, but he’s not, so I feel a bit more like I can put him to rest in my mind. I dont know if that makes any sense.

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