The Faithful Scribbler

A Catholic Mother In A Secular World

A Case of Mistaken Identity

on September 20, 2010

NOTE- The following story is extremely embarassing, so naturally, I felt compelled to share it in the blogosphere. :)  This may be the kind of thing only women will be able to sympathize with…

So, last Saturday, we took Little Scribbler to the Frederick Fair.  We paid the admission.  We bought the wristband to get LS on all the rides.  We walked approximately three steps inside the fairgrounds before LS spotted the carousel.

Now, Little Scribbler loves carousels…and when I say she loves them, I mean I have never seen a child so excited as LS looking at a carousel.  It’s better than Christmas morning.  Seeing as how we’d purchased the wristband for unlimited rides, I had a feeling it was going to be a very carousel-y day.

When we finally made it to the front of the line, the operator told us that Little Scribbler was too short to ride alone.  She’d need either the Auditor or I to accompany her.  Neither of us were wearing the wristband– we’d only purchased one, for Little Scribbler.

(Being 27 years old, I’ve ridden enough carnival rides in my lifetime already, and fully planned never to ride one again.  Your body tolerates spinning and twirling during childhood and adolesence that sends you running to puke in a trash can as an adult.)

I made to follow LS through the gate up onto the carousel.  The operator motioned to stop me.

“Oh do I need to have a ticket or a wristband or something?” I ask.

“No, someone can go with her, it just cant be you, because if you fell on the ride it would hurt your baby,” he replied, making a patting motion on his abdomen to indicate a pregnant stomach.

Ummm…..at last check, I found myself very much WITHOUT child.   I can assure you reader, no bun in THIS oven at the present moment!

Not knowing whether to laugh or cry, and for some reason wanting to spare this boneheaded young man any guilt, I decide to chuckle and tell him that I am not, in fact, pregnant….just chubby!  He was more than a little mortified.

Meanwhile, standing behind me, the Auditor is giggling like a first grade girl being tickled, with tears rolling out of his eyes.  Glaring at him, Little Scribbler and I board the carousel.

So anyway, I didnt really think I was that chubby.  Sure, I’m a chunkadoo, no question about it…but I didn’t think I was chubalicious enough to be mistaken for a preggo!!!

——————————————————-

With this delightful weekend incident in mind, I bring us to today– Day 1 of the Faithful Scribbler Weightloss Initiative.

Baseline Weigh In–

5 ‘ 6” , 176 lbs as of 1230 pm on September 20th.

(Only a mere 10 pounds lighter than my husband, as he is delighted to point out.  Jerk.)

BMI = 28.4

This Body Mass Index puts me in the 70th percentile for weight in my age category.  Crap.

Short Term Goals:

1. no food after 8pm

2. workout every single day

3. no restaurant food Monday to Friday

Long Term Goals:

1. 150 pounds by Thanksgiving Day

2. be able to sustain 30 minutes of aerobic activity without getting winded

I believe I can get down to a reasonable weight without going on a crash diet I will not be able to maintain.  I believe I can be a good example to my daughter.  I believe I can beat what I believe is an addiction to food.  I believe God will help me do this if I ask Him too.

I believe I will murder my smug husband if he teases me even ONE TIME in the next two months.

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4 responses to “A Case of Mistaken Identity

  1. Patrick says:

    This of course would be murder is self-defence.

    Your a strong willed women. YOU CAN DO THIS!

    Love and prayers,

    Pat

  2. Kristy says:

    hahaha, Thanks Pat!! I’ve often wondered if God might look the other way if I slap him a few times…

    About a year ago the doctor told him he had WAYYY to high cholesterol, so he lost his weight already. Although between me and you, it wouldnt hurt him any to lose a little more…. :)

    Curse you, Butter Rum Muffins! Why do you have to be so delicious?!

  3. Steven DeCillis says:

    1. 26 pounds in two months is NOT a long term goal..it is short term and very ambitious. If you lost 15 pounds in that time it would be a very successful effort so don’t put undue pressure on yourself by setting an unrealistic goal. You will do great.

    2. If you must end the Auditor’s existence, (completely justified homicide by the way), PLEASE wait until after our retreat so I can say a proper goodbye.

  4. Kristy says:

    it felt like longer than two months…but I guess you’re right, nine weeks isn’t much time.

    By “short term” goal, I meant like…one week at a time, lol! Nine weeks from now seems pretty “long term” from where I’m sitting today, hahaha!

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