So here at the Casa de Scribbler, we are anxiously (not really) awaiting tomorrow’s impending blizzard.
Having grown up in Western NY, I can honestly tell you two things about people in the NYC metro area: They SERIOUSLY OVER-REACT to weather conditions, and they like to complain about things. The slight possibility of inclement weather marries the two perfectly….
This afternoon, it was almost 50 degrees. Little Scribbler and I stopped by the grocery store, sans-jackets, to pick up some bananas and cereal.
The. Store. Was. A. MADHOUSE!
Not only was there nary a parking space to be found, but once we managed to FIND a spot, commandeer an abandoned shopping cart, and ENTER the store, a fantastical sight met our astonished and disbelieving eyes.
Hundreds of people. Pushing their shopping carts along, racing each other for big bags of rock salt (strategically and prominantly placed by a clever marketing genius!). Loading up on bottled water like a bad flashback of New Year’s Eve, Y2K. Slamming into each other without so much as an “excuse me”, desperate to snatch that last half gallon of skim!
INSIDE THE STORE!
Remember back at the top when I mentioned that it was 50 degrees outside today? It’s like…even the THOUGHT of snow generates a level of panic and desperation that cannot be rivaled. Somehow, a deep -seeded psychological issue causes these people to IGNORE THE REALITY of 50 degree weather, and don completely inappropriate Eskimo Apparel indoors, 15 hours before the first flake is scheduled to fall!
Seriously, you’d have thought we lived in South Dakota, or at least Central PA, where there is always the possibility, however slight, of being actually SNOWED IN and requiring a stockpile of basic resources. Let me tell you something folks– Long Islanders havent known snowed in during the past century, but they way they were packing those carts with supplies, you’d have thought they were facing a week without food or power, with a family of 10 to feed!
Schools are already cancelled for tomorrow– and not a flake has fallen! You want to talk complaining? You should have seen the crestfallen face of the ladies in the checkout line when they heard they’d be needing to entertain their children at home tomorrow!
And here’s the thing about Long Island “blizzards” : at MOST, you’re looking at a solid 10 to 12 hours of dangerous driving. THAT IS ALL. Then the salt air off the ocean blows in, melts everything, and we have our minor-flooding drama, irritating rail-riding commuters for two days or so until they get the tracks dried off.
WHY the panic people! WHY!? What psychological PTSD episode are you reliving that causes you to stock up on Chips Ahoy and condensed milk as if you’ll not see the inside of a Waldbaum’s until March?! WHY are you leaving work early a FULL DAY before the impending inclement weather, to clog up the grocery aisles and irritate the average typical stay at home mom such as myself?!
Don’t steal all the parking spots at the grocery store unnecessarily! Do you not realize that Stay at home Moms such buy groceries 2 items at a time, so as to have a legitimate excuse to leave the house and interact with grown up people!? We NEED those grocery store parking spots! We NEED leisurely strolls down the cereal aisle! We NEED to spend an hour in the market and leave with 6 bananas and a box of Cocoa Puffs. DONT RUIN MY LITTLE FEILD TRIPS WITH YOUR SILLY PANIC!!!
Oh yeah, did I mention we were supposed to have a “blizzard” about five days ago? We got half an inch of snow that melted by noon.
I’ll believe this blizzard when I see it…until that time, CALM DOWN. It’s just snow! It will be gone by Thursday and then you can go back to complaining about the increase in bridge tolls before you know it!